Weekending

Any other crazy moms who tick checks their children constantly? Yup, that is me. All the time.  Especially after we spend time at Drumlin Farm, Josiah's favorite place on earth. Anyone else out there? Say it loud. Say it proud. The Year of the Tick 

The other night I  peeped my head into Josiah's room and found him sitting and looking through books at way-too-late o'clock. I appreciated this article.

Occasionally my sister and I chat about the {small} sizes of our houses.  At this point we are taking it all back. Our houses are huge! Perspective! Life inside coffin cubicles. 

Duchess Kate was at Wimbledon. Apparently, this look was divisive from hair to dress. I give is a thumbs up but I have talked to some who aren't sold.  Judge for yourselves.

In my pretend life where I go out and wear fancy things:
I've been drooling over this dress for weeks. It has pockets!!!!!!! (Its on sale!) Maybe I will sew my own version...eep!

Have fun loves. Go Crazy! Eat an extra slice of watermelon. I won't tell.
x Amy

I'm Back

tap...tap...tap... Is this thing on? 

I am not sure if anyone is there or if anyone was ever there. But, I am back.

Let's see how long it lasts. 

Anxiety? Intuition?

I started holding my breath as I shut the door to his room. It was one of those strange anxiety experiences when I could hear myself saying all the things we say before closing the door.  Goodnight pumpkin. God loves you and God made you special. Close your eyes and dream of something happy. I love you. 

He is a sound sleeper. I told myself. It is still light outside. He will be sound asleep by the time the fireworks start going off. 

Do you ever tell yourself something over and over again, hoping that you will believe it is true? Yup, I do.

I was crawling into bed that night and thinking we’ve done it. The fireworks started 30 minutes ago and I haven’t heard a peep. Happy Birthday America and thank goodness for my sound sleeper. It was after I’d settled in when I started to get that itchy, twitchy feeling. (It always comes AFTER I’ve settled in. Never before I am settled and comfortable. That would be entirely too much to ask, I’m sure.)

Josiah. I need to peep in. So I get out of bed and silently walk down the hallway to his bedroom door. I lightly touch the knob and turn it soundlessly and see him laying in bed, clutching his covers with those big wide eyes.

Pumpkin?

Its so loud, Momma. The noise is so loud. He whispers.

I crawl into his bed and he snuggles in. You keep me safe Momma. It isn’t a question. Its a statement. Its his truth and I am so thankful for that. I hold my sweet, sensitive boy close, feel his breathing, the weight of his head on my chest and we talk for awhile until he finally falls asleep.

To all the Mommas: Trust yourselves. Trust that inner voice pushes you out of bed after you are settled. The one that tells you something isn’t quite right, that your pumpkin isn’t quite right. That voice is you and you know your child. Trust yourself.

One Big Happy

I don’t know what the rest of my family would say, but for me, one of the most difficult pieces of life is living half a country away from one another. Of course, this was never the plan but how often does life really turn out the way we plan? Seriously? I’d love for you to tell me…

Yesterday many members of our family gathered to celebrate the 4th of July. I don’t know what your family is like but it never fails that when we gather together for a BIG Family gathering, the preparation is something like blowing up a balloon. It seems easy peasy but as “go time” gets closer that balloon gets pretty close to full and inevitably, a little of the stress leaks out. Finally, everyone arrives and our balloon exhales the air it was holding because none of the scurrying mattered quite as much it seemed in the first place. Thats the thing about family, the fanciness doesn’t really matter to them. The most important thing is laughing and hugging each other’s necks and sharing a bowl of ice cream. Go Team Double Vanilla!!!! 

We should pause here to tell the story. Years ago, when we were children…. Aleece do you remember when exactly? A ice cream divide began inside the family. And, lets be honest, we are serious about our ice cream. Anyway, there are currently two camps: Team Double Vanilla (Amy’s team) and Team Bluebell (Aleece’s team). Team Bluebell is the larger team but Team Double Vanilla is scrappy.

Anyway, we enjoyed burgers and ice-cream and all the fun and chaos of large family gatherings until, close to the end of the afternoon, we rolled around to the inevitable telling of the old family stories. These gatherings are comfortable and familiar and woven into the fabric that makes our lives. A few specific memories rise to the surface but mostly, they run together into a whirling, swirling blur of love and life.

Today, I am sitting in the middle of my messy house avoiding the overstuffed suitcases, dishes and piles of laundry and choosing to look at pictures from yesterday. The memories are so alive, I could reach out and touch them but, strangely, they have slipped into the past. Life is like that.

I am notoriously bad at taking pictures, a skill my son has inherited from me. Here is a bit of us from yesterday. All I can think of is how lucky we are to share all this love and laughter and noise with our littles.

Be gentle with yourselves today and take a moment to hug someone you love

xAmy